I've never been happier! I tell my husband often that if something should happen to me I will have left this life feeling so incredibly loved and feeling so lucky to have loved especially him and Baby.
First my husband, then my baby, then my parents, then my friends.
My husband taught me what real love is. Things like sacrificing, reliability, and respect. These aren't easy. But he makes it look effortless. I admire my husband so much. What I love about him is his unwavering devotion to his parents especially his mother. His parents especially his mother did such a fantastic job raising him Right. John is Always sharing his mother's stores. I Eat. It. Up. And in turn I love her and respect her greatly. There is so much life-wisdom in John. He doesn't flaunt it, nor does he necessarily share it. Thus, I feel blessed to be very close to him. When I feel vulnerable I have him to turn to to confide in, ask questions, learn and GROW. John does a tremendous job protecting me and showering me with love and wisdom. I can thank him endlessly for the corrective experiences he's given me that have healed many accumulated vulnerabilities. I love him so much. I have IMMENSE appreciation for everything he is and does for our little family. I am so happy for us to have come out on top. Our communication thus intimacy is on point!
The road to all the marital bliss we are experiencing did not come immediately. For the first two years there was resistance and lack of empathy. Egos got in the way. I cannot pinpoint when our breakthrough was, but slowly we began to build a relationship that I am so immensely proud of today. WE GET IT. It's so frustrating to get stuck in the phase of YOU JUST DO NOT GET IT. Couples, continue to work at it because WHEN IT IS 100% GOTTEN IT FEELS SO. DAMN. GOOD.
The arrival of Baby definitely tested our marital bliss. But not for long. I feel like communication is such an important muscle that you can whip out and flex. If the communication muscle is not strong then it's certainly a struggle. So the focal point would be to work on how you communicate as a couple (and individual communication styles) versus the issue at hand. Having a Baby Boy has softened me all around. The way I look at my life, my family, my work, friends, and the world around me. I approach it like a mature person ready for a last-lasting relationship.
Back to Baby. My maternal instinct didn't kick for a hot moment. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. I really just didn't know WHAT THE FUCK I was supposed to do or how I was supposed to feel! I think I was in shock and overwhelmed. Now, I FUCKING LOVE MY BABY! I am like MAMAMAMAMAMA BEAR. I love my little family so much it hurts. I love that my Baby loves both Mommy and Daddy. I love that Daddy is the best Daddy. I love to look into my baby's eyes and just beam happily together! He is one happy Baby. John and I are so lucky to have such an easy baby. Blessed indeed.
Reuniting with my Mom. After birth of Baby, my mom stayed with us for 1 month to make every single meal for John and me, clean, and help me with Baby. My mom and I have always fought like sisters. We were also each other's everything as only sister's can be to each other. We argued here and there and got on each other's nerves... but one particular day we had a massive blow out that ended with my mom leaving and me melting down emotionally by myself by trashing/thrashing a room. When John came home from work he played mediator. Mom cried. I cried. John hugged us both.
Well, let's just say when the 1 month was up- I stood at the door of my mom's guestroom door and sobbed by eyes out. I told her how much I really appreciated her coming out to help us. I told her we really appreciated her so much. I told her how sorry I was for being such an asshole as a teenager and adult. I told her what a wonderful, wonderful mother she is. I begged her to come back to visit again REAL soon. I told her how I felt I couldn't do this parenting thing without her. Seriously, I was at kiss-the-ground-Mom-walks-on phase.
Something DEFINITELY happens when you, yourself become a mother. You suddenly realize all those times your own mother did-this for you or did-that for you and GUESS WHAT she didn't FUCKING HAVE TO! You realize what a fool you have been to have not been thanking your
lucky stars every night to have been blessed with a caring parent such
as herself. Fast forward to her month long stay. She was a tireless,
devoted work horse busy bee! This is another reason why I love and appreciate my husband so much. John had always respected my mom- he didn't need this 1 month of watching her work selflessly for us to respect her. That's what I mean- I really think his parents raised him RIGHT! He doesn't need to see the effort to be confident in the results he sees in front of him. He just KNOWS what it takes... and there's just baseline respect. HUMBLED.
The three of us really came together for Baby Boy. We will be FOREVER BONDED from the experiences.
Now my friends... TO BE CONTINUED.
